Not THAT mum, the altogether one who happily bakes cakes, does loads of craft stuff, has a cheerful smile plastered to a her face (except when looking down on other mums, then it's the special condescending one), who drives kiddos to and fro and happily watches them at the park/softplay/swimming/crafting/friends/anywhere (delete as appropriate) and has to endure "Watch me mum, look at ME mum, mum, mum, MAMA, MUUUUUUM, mummy, mummummum" if she dares to look away for even a nano second.
I'm the well-past-midway-holiday mum who has no patience, cannot do any housework without constant interruptions, the one who has to supervise the kiddo lest she floods the house (what's the obsession with water?), has let countless cups of tea go cold, has to cope with the half a day it a takes to get kiddo out then faces the shopping trip to hell where said kiddo is so hyper that the dogs in the next county are barking.
If you are observant enough you can spot me. I'll probably be red faced with gritted teeth and crazy staring eyes. I'll no doubt be whispering promises of horrid punishments to the kiddo if she doesn't SHUT UP or CALM DOWN. If anyone who doesn't have kids tuts at me, I'm liable to run them over. I have sworn at the kiddo. Don't bother telling me that I should calm down, that it's not kiddo's fault or any of that. I know all that. But for tonight Matthew, I'm That mum. But tomorrow I'll be the other mum. The smiling one who loves her kiddo with all her heart and would die if any of the horrid things she thought today ever ever came to pass. Damn I'm gonna go give the little gal a huge hug now. Not her fault she has a nutter for a mama.
P.S. Teachers are bloody marvellous. I miss my kiddo's nursery teachers who were able to inspire her in art, drama and so many other ways. Marvellous. Why oh why did the term have to end?