Monday, 5 October 2009

Baby bingo

I'm sure some of you have heard of Bullshit bingo. Well I think we should make up baby bingo. I am painfully aware that as I try to control my tot so that she doesn't hurt herself (in a manner that is like herding cats), I often use the same words or phrases. So tomorrow I'm going to start playing baby bingo. All I have to figure out is what to do if we score on all words/phrases.

Good girl
Well done
You are a clever monkey (or some variation)
Wow you ate all your breakfast/lunch/snack
Would you like some apple/cheese/other food stuff
Let's play
Lets read a book
Sit down
Stop that
I said NO
Just eat it
I take it you don't like mummy's [insert name of today's culinary creation]
What do you say [required response is Please]
What do you say [required response is thank you]
Shall I sing you [insert nursery rhyme. I have to sing all of them but she selects the order]
Shall we go to [insert playgroup, name of playmate's house, co-op, the park, the playground, to bed]
Go to sleep darling
GO TO SLEEP for heaven's sake! (note the tone of exasperation creeping in here)
That's a nipple (she keeps pointing to body parts and asking. Today's obsession was her and my nipples)
Behave yourself
Stop being naughty
In a minute
Come on (usually said when on a walk with the tot who could win awards for dawdling)
Move it (see above)
Don't touch that,it's dirty
Don't touch that, it's hot
It's naughty to throw food on ... the floor/at someone
Well say something (she likes to call up people on the phone but then goes all shy....sweet but not for the person being called)
Stop that! (usually putting a figure up her nose)
Good girl, you did a poo. (unfortunately potty training's going a bit slow so its still nappy time here)
Have you done a poo?
Wow that's a stinky one.
Tidy up please
You are very naughty so you stay in there for 5 minutes
Do you want a smack?

She amazed me today by being able to sing the whole alphabet. She of course is too young to know what it means, but wow what a memory. Maybe she'll start telling me what words/phrases I've missed out.

All these phrases are in English because unfortunately I don't know enough of my mother tongue to keep up a one sided conversation with her. But perhaps if I did she would feel the fear I did on the few occasions I was disciplined as a child in my language. It's just so much more scary - a bit like when your parents use your full name to call know you are in trouble! I do that with tot but she thinks it's hilarious :S


Anonymous said...

sound like ALL the comments used in our household although I am often found muttering some swear words under my breath pre half the sentances or to myself.
My tod often lets me know when I am doing the short version of something like "wheels on the bus" for instance and I miss out a verse or two because I am bored of singing the same song again and again and again and...etc...I get a long "noooooo" and then a beep beep or wild swoosh of the hands depending on what I've dropped!

Plummy Mummy said...

Oh I feel your pain. I have been tempted to record some songs and just put them on repeat