It's been ages since my last post. Kiddo got chicken pox and like a lot of kids with eczema, had it really bad. Poor thing couldn't even go to the loo for a few days without a lot of pain. Then there were the spots which made her really poorly. We tried the miracle cream Virasoothe but that had her howling in pain so in the end stuck to simple paracetamol and piriton to tackle her discomfort.
She didn't want to see her reflection which is a bit of a problem as in this house, there are quite a few floor to ceiling mirrors. On the one occasion we popped out to the pharmacy, two children kept staring at her so much so that she tried to hide behind me. The idiots and their idiot mum who didn't tell them to stop being so rude.
It has made me realise how much her appearance matters to my daughter - something that I haven't really noticed before.
We have also been busy preparing for her move to Primary school. Sadly, she's the only one from her nursery going to the her new school. Most of the other kids are staying on. Poor kid has changed schools so often due to our house moves and though she copes, our hearts ache for her having to go in and make new friends each time.
Like many parents, I'm having a harder time with her growing up than she is though. I miss her already and am really worried about her going off for so long in a day without me. Will she make friends? Will she eat properly and make sure to stay hydrated without constant reminders? Will she be able to handle all the school work and pay attention to the teachers. Of course she will, she's a good kid. I'm not sure I will. I feel like I am being made redundant from my job, partly because I wasn't up to the task of making another child (i.e. if I had another, I wouldn't feel so bad about being a staying at home mum*). Of course, these worries will pass. She will go to school and eventually, I will figure out what I am going to do with my life when I'm not doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, crafting and generally running around taking her from one afterschool club to another.
*It's pathetic but I have started to avoid people who are pregnant or have just had a new baby. Bit hard as a whole load of my younger cousins are doing just that right now. My left brain screams at me that another baby at this stage of our lives would be mad but my womb sits up and smacks it in the head. I wonder if this is a last ditch attempt by my reproductive organs to make me use them before dah, dah, daaaaah MENOPAUSE. Bet you are all waiting with glee for the posts about pre and post menopausal Plummy Mummy. Ah the horror!
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Playgrounds in the sun
Slowly this area is starting to unfurl before us and we are discovering more and more. In the last few weeks, we have been to Almondell and Calderwood, Beecraigs and Polkemmet Country Parks - the latter two have some fabulous play areas for the kids. But Polkemmet wins for me thanks to the Ivory Tower Cakes cafe where I had a delicious vanilla / lemon cupcake. It's also home to a golf course which is hilarious - H&S must have missed this one as many of the woodland parks are on the edge of golfing greens. And home to the Horn, one of the artworks along the M8 - the Horn used to have sound which was turned off which is a shame as I'd love to have shouted to the drivers on the M8 "Turn around, you are going the wrong way!".
Closer to home our neighbour who has a 3 year old has pointed me to Eliburn park and Murieston Valley Playpark. These are all great and I'm amazed at the investment in kids playgrounds - it's fab the council are encouraging kids to play. We are still getting used to the walkways in Livingston which are rarely along the main roads but rather through woods - hopefully all safe though I wouldn't want to be alone along them for long. Then again, with the glorious sunshine we have at the mo, a walk down a wooden path along a stream is just perfect.
Closer to home our neighbour who has a 3 year old has pointed me to Eliburn park and Murieston Valley Playpark. These are all great and I'm amazed at the investment in kids playgrounds - it's fab the council are encouraging kids to play. We are still getting used to the walkways in Livingston which are rarely along the main roads but rather through woods - hopefully all safe though I wouldn't want to be alone along them for long. Then again, with the glorious sunshine we have at the mo, a walk down a wooden path along a stream is just perfect.
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| Beecraigs park, close to kids playground |
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| our kid running for freedom |
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| We had a look for the snake but the Graffulo ate it |
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| Ghostly trees Beecraigs |
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| Sundappled trees next to Beecraigs play park |
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| Beecraigs park |
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| Random mausoleum in Polkemmet |
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| Mausoleum saying Polkemmet |
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| The Horn, with sign warning you shouldn't go across the golf green! |
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| Huge horn on the M8 |
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Mothering Sunday
I never knew that the origin of Mother's day was a Christian festival called Mothering Sunday where people returned to the Mother church for the day . A bit like Christmas, the religious aspect is lost to most of us modern sons and daughters.
Last night (yes another partly sleepless one!) I started thinking of songs that had some form of "mother" in them. Instantly the lyrics of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody come to mind "MAMA, I just killed a man, held a gun against his head, pulled the trigger shot him dead" "Mama I didn't mean to make you cry wooohoooooooooo hoooooo". My God, I love it. So much so that I once chose to sing it during a night out in a Korean karaoke club. What a bad mistake - it's a bloody long song for someone who cannot hold a tune.
Then there is Junior Walker's "Mama used to say" where the boy is told to take his time, take it in his stride and not rush to get old. Good words.
However, the definitive mother has to be the Harlan Howard song No Charge as sung by Tammy Wynette. The internet, that slippery sneaky thing that it is has a number of different versions for the lyrics. A little child (sometimes it's a boy, other times it's a girl) hands the mother who's fixing dinner a bill for all the chores he /she has done. Before I had kids the following part of the song would reduce me to tears:
"For the nine months I carried you, no charge,
For the nights I've stayed up with you, doctored you, prayed for you, no charge,
For the ties, folding clothes and for wipin' nose, there's no charge
When you add it all up, the full cost of my love is, no charge"
At this point, the kid looks up at the mother with big old tears in his/her eyes, takes the previously proferred bill and writes "Paid in full" on it.
A bit like the kid by the end of the song I tell you - since having had a kid my understanding of motherhood has changed. In the vein of walking a mile in someone else's shoes/penny dropping/lightbulb over the head moment I have realised how hard it was for some of the mothers out there. I've written before about my amazing mum who moved continents, the second time on her own with three brats under 6 to deal with. I see both my sister-in-laws in a new light - one again living in a foreign country and raising her kids without much help from us the "family", and the other raising an autistic son. Amazing I tell you. And I think that partly what the song is about is appreciation for all mothers.
I admit when my little one was being a right little madam, I told her how much I regretted giving up work, independence and general freedom to stay at home and deal with her annoying habits. She's four, I'm an idiot. She didn't ask to be born and I don't expect her to pay for it. She's at the stage where she knows she needs me. One day, probably when she has her own kids, she'll appreciate what being a mum is and so big blowy raspberries to the "no charge". And in the meantime, if by any chance she does a chore, I will be probably be so gob-smacked that I'll just hand over all my debit cards. Now that will bring a tear to the eye, no charge.
Last night (yes another partly sleepless one!) I started thinking of songs that had some form of "mother" in them. Instantly the lyrics of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody come to mind "MAMA, I just killed a man, held a gun against his head, pulled the trigger shot him dead" "Mama I didn't mean to make you cry wooohoooooooooo hoooooo". My God, I love it. So much so that I once chose to sing it during a night out in a Korean karaoke club. What a bad mistake - it's a bloody long song for someone who cannot hold a tune.
Then there is Junior Walker's "Mama used to say" where the boy is told to take his time, take it in his stride and not rush to get old. Good words.
However, the definitive mother has to be the Harlan Howard song No Charge as sung by Tammy Wynette. The internet, that slippery sneaky thing that it is has a number of different versions for the lyrics. A little child (sometimes it's a boy, other times it's a girl) hands the mother who's fixing dinner a bill for all the chores he /she has done. Before I had kids the following part of the song would reduce me to tears:
"For the nine months I carried you, no charge,
For the nights I've stayed up with you, doctored you, prayed for you, no charge,
For the ties, folding clothes and for wipin' nose, there's no charge
When you add it all up, the full cost of my love is, no charge"
At this point, the kid looks up at the mother with big old tears in his/her eyes, takes the previously proferred bill and writes "Paid in full" on it.
A bit like the kid by the end of the song I tell you - since having had a kid my understanding of motherhood has changed. In the vein of walking a mile in someone else's shoes/penny dropping/lightbulb over the head moment I have realised how hard it was for some of the mothers out there. I've written before about my amazing mum who moved continents, the second time on her own with three brats under 6 to deal with. I see both my sister-in-laws in a new light - one again living in a foreign country and raising her kids without much help from us the "family", and the other raising an autistic son. Amazing I tell you. And I think that partly what the song is about is appreciation for all mothers.
I admit when my little one was being a right little madam, I told her how much I regretted giving up work, independence and general freedom to stay at home and deal with her annoying habits. She's four, I'm an idiot. She didn't ask to be born and I don't expect her to pay for it. She's at the stage where she knows she needs me. One day, probably when she has her own kids, she'll appreciate what being a mum is and so big blowy raspberries to the "no charge". And in the meantime, if by any chance she does a chore, I will be probably be so gob-smacked that I'll just hand over all my debit cards. Now that will bring a tear to the eye, no charge.
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
My week off
I'm having a holiday from being a stay at home mum. I cannot wait and am so giddy with excitement. Apart for one night in the first week of her life where I ended up in hospital with high blood pressure, I've never spent a night away from my child. Sure there have been times when someone else has looked after her - notably when I had tonsillitis a few Xmas' ago and hubby had to look after her. But physically, I was there and she saw me every day. This will be the first real holiday I've had - I'm going home for 7 days alone without hubby or daughter.
I seriously need to recharge my batteries and to find some sense of self. I love being a mum but my god, sometimes it's the most boring job in the world. And the GUILT, no one ever tells you about the guilt that you feel when you are not feeding them right, dressing them right, taking them to the right clubs, getting them into the best school, being up on the latest parenting trends, spending every moment to play as you have to do some housework (or god forbid update your blog), letting down all woman kind cos you didn't stay in a career and chose the traditional role of stay at home parent. There are so many things you could feel about if you gave a toss. Most of the time I don't - I think we are good parents and get compliments for our little one's manners, her confidence and her intelligence.
However, after 4 years I need to step away for a bit. I need to have a conversation with an adult without being interrupted. I have to be able to go the cinema, out for dinner, A DRINK even or just catch up with old mates without thinking about getting back to pick up little one, cook dinner, do the laundry or think of a bunch of activities to fill the afternoon. I need to be away so I can stop feeling sorry for myself and remind myself that I chose this job. I also need to think about ways that my hubby and I can reconnect as "consenting" adults rather than just parents.
I have to think of ways to supplement our income. We don't live off benefits*. We live off savings and the hubby's income. The savings are really dwindling. I know I can work but in this economy I have no sodding idea what I could do and how I could ensure it will fit around the hours that little one will be in school. Not an unique dilemma but for now, one I need to face.
I suspect I will spend a lot of time in arts/crafts shops stocking up on new activities when I am not in the yarn shop buying even more for my stash. Or in kids' shops buying new clothes, books, toys.
Most of all, I know I'm going to miss my little one and the other half as I've got the best f*****ing job in the world and work for and with two of the most remarkable human beings I know.
*I wish that I could have some of the benefits of the people on benefits without claiming the benefits. Like getting stamps cheaper at Christmas time. Or getting into see shows cheaper. Or whatever else people who live off the state get.
I seriously need to recharge my batteries and to find some sense of self. I love being a mum but my god, sometimes it's the most boring job in the world. And the GUILT, no one ever tells you about the guilt that you feel when you are not feeding them right, dressing them right, taking them to the right clubs, getting them into the best school, being up on the latest parenting trends, spending every moment to play as you have to do some housework (or god forbid update your blog), letting down all woman kind cos you didn't stay in a career and chose the traditional role of stay at home parent. There are so many things you could feel about if you gave a toss. Most of the time I don't - I think we are good parents and get compliments for our little one's manners, her confidence and her intelligence.
However, after 4 years I need to step away for a bit. I need to have a conversation with an adult without being interrupted. I have to be able to go the cinema, out for dinner, A DRINK even or just catch up with old mates without thinking about getting back to pick up little one, cook dinner, do the laundry or think of a bunch of activities to fill the afternoon. I need to be away so I can stop feeling sorry for myself and remind myself that I chose this job. I also need to think about ways that my hubby and I can reconnect as "consenting" adults rather than just parents.
I have to think of ways to supplement our income. We don't live off benefits*. We live off savings and the hubby's income. The savings are really dwindling. I know I can work but in this economy I have no sodding idea what I could do and how I could ensure it will fit around the hours that little one will be in school. Not an unique dilemma but for now, one I need to face.
I suspect I will spend a lot of time in arts/crafts shops stocking up on new activities when I am not in the yarn shop buying even more for my stash. Or in kids' shops buying new clothes, books, toys.
Most of all, I know I'm going to miss my little one and the other half as I've got the best f*****ing job in the world and work for and with two of the most remarkable human beings I know.
*I wish that I could have some of the benefits of the people on benefits without claiming the benefits. Like getting stamps cheaper at Christmas time. Or getting into see shows cheaper. Or whatever else people who live off the state get.
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Pre-school sorted
Well, we are feeling mighty happy today as we have found a nursery place for our 4 year old. She's only been out of nursery since the end of December...but this holiday has gone on far too long for me! I love looking after her but I do value the few hours a day when she goes off to learn in the guise of play.
When we came to view this house, the agent told us many parents wanted to live in the area thanks to a highly regarded nursery/primary school. Obviously, mid year there were NO places at that school so the council gave us the option of a morning place at a Roman Catholic school or an afternoon one at a playgroup.
Hubby is not a Roman Catholic but was ambivalent about sending our kid to a R.C. school for fear that she would be made anti-Protestant. This sectarian thing is a bit complicated like that. Me, the Hindu, could not care less so it was a good thing the lovely lady at the council assured us the nursery was non-denominational.
We visited the playgroup and left feeling it was more suitable to younger children or those who had not been to nursery before. As our daughter will be heading to primary school this year, we felt a school environment was more appropriate. Today we visited the R.C. school - walked in to face a mural of the Saint the school is named for, and then past a wall display of the Papal visit, past sweet kids waiting to do P.E. into a bright and cheerful nursery. The teacher was very nice and not at all nun like ...probably as she wasn't one. After an initial shyness, our daughter spent our visit banging on a huge drum and generally very happy...at the end of the day that's the important thing. As soon as I got home, we sorted it out with the Council and now, I'm crossing fingers that she will be able to start soon. And phew for me....I'm well behind on my crafty-pursuits. Sorry I meant on my cleaning of course.
When we came to view this house, the agent told us many parents wanted to live in the area thanks to a highly regarded nursery/primary school. Obviously, mid year there were NO places at that school so the council gave us the option of a morning place at a Roman Catholic school or an afternoon one at a playgroup.
Hubby is not a Roman Catholic but was ambivalent about sending our kid to a R.C. school for fear that she would be made anti-Protestant. This sectarian thing is a bit complicated like that. Me, the Hindu, could not care less so it was a good thing the lovely lady at the council assured us the nursery was non-denominational.
We visited the playgroup and left feeling it was more suitable to younger children or those who had not been to nursery before. As our daughter will be heading to primary school this year, we felt a school environment was more appropriate. Today we visited the R.C. school - walked in to face a mural of the Saint the school is named for, and then past a wall display of the Papal visit, past sweet kids waiting to do P.E. into a bright and cheerful nursery. The teacher was very nice and not at all nun like ...probably as she wasn't one. After an initial shyness, our daughter spent our visit banging on a huge drum and generally very happy...at the end of the day that's the important thing. As soon as I got home, we sorted it out with the Council and now, I'm crossing fingers that she will be able to start soon. And phew for me....I'm well behind on my crafty-pursuits. Sorry I meant on my cleaning of course.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Things that go bump
Remember those days where you met a lovely other half and got IT on at every opportunity available? Life would be one endless round of rumpy bumpy. You would happily/smugly be 5 minutes late meeting friends just to squeeze in a quick one. Any excuse really. Remember? One of the best excuses has to moving into a new house as every room had to be "christened". I mean EVERY room. Oh what fun. Sigh. That ALL changes when you have a kid in the house. Now, moving house means a few weeks (if you are lucky, months if you are not) of getting the child used to a new room, new wardrobes, new kitchen and snack cupboards, new sounds at night, a new street, possibly new friends. And sleepless nights as said child has to be soothed at night. Especially if said child walks into Mummy and Daddy's new room and sees a sight children just should not see. Have added a trip to the local DIY shop for door locks on my list of To Dos.
Thursday, 7 April 2011
Proper pukka education
The start of this week was pre-occupied with primary school selections. While we wait another year to apply as litte one's birthday is just after the cut off date, a lot of our friends have had their emails/letters telling them where their kids are going to be placed. Some were happy to have got their choices, and some were very unhappy and will be going along the appeals / waiting list route. Anyway, this mood had me tuning into Jamie's Dream School. I am not a fan of reality TV and think most of is shockingly bad. However, out of curiosity I had recorded the whole series to date but just not been in the mood to watch it as the Cheeky Chef annoys the bloody hell out of me.
This show is not about the reality of teaching, the state of our education system or the problems of disenfranchised youth. It's ENTERTAINMENT, car-crash gawping enhanced by the clever use of editing to make us see how awful some kids are and to feel huge amounts of pity for the quiet ones who want to get ahead but don't have a chance as their classes are constantly, continually disrupted. When a teacher is faced with 30 kids I can see why they have to exclude some for the good of the majority.
As far as I can tell, the only person with any expertise in secondary education is the head teacher "Dabbs" and he ends up in tears by episode 4 out of sheer frustration. I have heard many teachers leave the profession due to bad behaviour, but surely this head teacher has had to deal with difficult pupils before and even if it's not so concentrated, it only been a few weeks. Sheesh - what, if anything he is bringing to the process? (Have to say too, a head master who calls himself "Dabbs" is not really going to get much respect - in my day it was "Mr Edwards" (not his real name)). Oh god, I sound like David Starkey now :(
I have toyed with the idea of being a teacher but my goodness; I'm having second thoughts now.
That old adage "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" was shown to be bollocks - it used to be deregatory towards teachers as they were people who couldn't succeed in a given career and were reduced to teaching instead. But a teacher who is not good at a subject is never going to be a good teacher.
People Jamie found inspirational (but the kids didn't know mostly) struggled as they were not given one iota of secondary school teacher training. Even David Starkey and Mary Beard who are used to teaching undergrads struggled.
One thread that has come up again and again is the short attention span of the children, esp. when they are not in a hands-on creative class. This is often blamed on portable technology – however, being able to text/chat/surf whilst being in a meeting is a valuable skill enabling participants to be present in multiple locations at any one given moment - a fantastic skill that we shouldn't know huh ;)
I'm going to keep watching (and blogging and tweeting) until Jamie's irritating personality drives me to throw my mobile at the TV. It's pandering to my fears as a parent especially the fear that feral wildchildren will be waiting to lure my daughter away from her studies and woes betide me if I let them succeed in turning her to the dark, dumb side.
This show is not going to come up with any solutions that the brightest and best teachers, heads or educators in the UK haven't already thought. It's just going to tell that us what we know - give the resources the show has to each school in the UK, give the decent teachers some respect and support (get rid of the shite ones), change the size of classrooms, help the people who fall outside of the system and then we can all marvel as our kids are engaged with real life A&E, biodomes, the beauty of poetry and power of photography.
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
What a nightmare!
Our 3 year old is currently suffering from nightmares. She is anxious when going to sleep about having to sleep alone and often wakes up. Last night after putting her back to bed for the 3rd time, she slept for half an hour and then let out the most godawful scream. Frankly it scared me shitless. It wasn't a night terror (as defined by the Great Ormond St/ NHS). It's a nightmare she's had before where she hears a loud bell. Last week, whilst staying with my sister in law, a late night visitor (i.e. someone at 8pm) rang the doorbell and left our tot in tears. I'm starting to feel rather guilty about jumping out at her every now and again, howling and scaring her!
Anyway, she ended up in the bed with me. Mr P.M. was in the living room to catch up on sleep lost to the previous night's nightmares.
The tut-tut-tittle-tattle-tutters out there will be saying I should have put her back into her own bed. Perhaps they are right but I'm not one to let a little 3 year old crying child go back to bed in terror. Plus as an insomniac myself telling her she needs to get back to bed and just fall asleep seems a bit hypocritical.
Are we failed parents? Are we helicopter parents? Who knows. Who cares. She managed to sleep. After reading on the site above that lack of sleep contributes to the problem I feel we are helping her really. I hope it won't be forever for both her, mine and my marriage's sake (which is rather dependent on night times cuddles from the other half). In the meantime, to help her on the way, I'll knit her a pair of sound proof ear mufflers to help her block out the sounds (even if they are only in her head). And for myself, buy make up to hide those ever increasing dark circles under my eyes.
Anyway, she ended up in the bed with me. Mr P.M. was in the living room to catch up on sleep lost to the previous night's nightmares.
The tut-tut-tittle-tattle-tutters out there will be saying I should have put her back into her own bed. Perhaps they are right but I'm not one to let a little 3 year old crying child go back to bed in terror. Plus as an insomniac myself telling her she needs to get back to bed and just fall asleep seems a bit hypocritical.
Are we failed parents? Are we helicopter parents? Who knows. Who cares. She managed to sleep. After reading on the site above that lack of sleep contributes to the problem I feel we are helping her really. I hope it won't be forever for both her, mine and my marriage's sake (which is rather dependent on night times cuddles from the other half). In the meantime, to help her on the way, I'll knit her a pair of sound proof ear mufflers to help her block out the sounds (even if they are only in her head). And for myself, buy make up to hide those ever increasing dark circles under my eyes.
Tuesday, 18 January 2011
Sexism among the mini masses
I'm horrified to discover that my tot is a bit sexist and a little bit girly which I'm not so am having to adjust my way of thinking. She has definite ideas of what boys and girls should do. Here are a couple of examples:
It's all bizarre, and in some cases leads to a mini case of Mean Girls since she isn't the only girl with these views and then they all act like teenagers (which just cracks me up, naughty mum).
On the bright side, we should encourage this as come her teenage years, we will be trying to keep her away from men as I'm not having some oink mess with my princess. Anyway, it's for their protection really as we know that the female of the species is deadlier than the male.
- When asked who she plays with at nursery she gives me girl's names. If I ask about any of the boys, she looks at me with exasperation and declares that "They are boys, boys play with boys mummy". This even extends to friends we visit where she will only play with the girls. The only exception is when there are only boys and she will then want to join in but goes all girly if they want to do anything involving mud or monsters (except dinosaurs grrrrr)
- She refuses to wear or use anything blue and is determined to only wear or use pink, purple or red. Of late, she has conceded and will wear light blue so perhaps this example is a short lived.
It's all bizarre, and in some cases leads to a mini case of Mean Girls since she isn't the only girl with these views and then they all act like teenagers (which just cracks me up, naughty mum).
On the bright side, we should encourage this as come her teenage years, we will be trying to keep her away from men as I'm not having some oink mess with my princess. Anyway, it's for their protection really as we know that the female of the species is deadlier than the male.
Thursday, 2 December 2010
It's easier, you only have one
It's not uncommon for me to be told that I have it easy as I have only one child. Most of the time, I don't disagree:
- I have an easygoing, intelligent child. Yes, there are days when the little angel tests my patience, but it's also rewarded
- Financially, it's cheaper. One child = only one set of things to buy, childcare cost, holiday prices, blah, blah, blah.
- I have only one child to entertain on snowy, rainy days.
- I can devote all my attention to raising just the one
- It's bloody insensitive. I may have wanted more and have not yet, or cannot ever.
- I may not have an easy child. My one child might be a sodding nightmare compared to your multiple children. I could for e.g. have an autistic child and then one is not easy (If I had more than one autistic child, then yes, one would be, relatively speaking, easier).
- You CHOSE to have multiple kids and whoopee your fertility, luck, cosmic configuration, genes, jeans etc made it possible for you to have more so don't complain when it's hard to manage the multiple.
- I have to entertain my one child as she has no siblings and on snowy days, it's hard to get to friends.
- She has to learn to play on her own. Sometimes seeing her do so is just too sad to bear. Our child doesn't have any siblings to share birthdays with, holidays, Xmas, TV shows and lots of other stuff. Yes, your tots might not share now but I'm assuming at some point in the future the bond will build and they will be best buddies.
- You don't have insensitive bods asking when you are going to have another.
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Online safety
The other night I caught a documentary about Bullies Online part of which focused on the issues of Internet access on mobile phones. Kids cannot run home now to escape from the bullies if they have any form of Internet access there. The parents of one boy were not able to help him as he was not willing to talk to them about the problems he was having. Ultimately, the boy killed himself. This is sad on so many levels - that he couldn't talk to his parents about his problems, that he was not able to have a safe haven at home and that the impact of bullying is still woefully misunderstood/hidden.
As a mobile phone designer, I had to spend some time thinking about the balance of safety for children vs. respecting their privacy/not treating children like idiots.
OK you can put filters in place to protect children but these must enable them to get to the content they are interested in. Social networking and location based services add complications. Other considerations were cost, parental control and how to handle abusive situations.
When you buy a handset and can prove you are 18+ then content is open to you. If you then pass this phone onto your child, IT'S UP TO YOU to ask for the 18+ content to be turned off. It's also up to you to ensure that wifi, bluetooth and location based services are controlled as these are normally done from within the handset and not by the operator.
So not only do you have to refresh your Maths, English and Science skills but you have to be an IT whizz. Ultimately though our kids need to learn how to steer themselves safely too - learn what is appropriate content and behaviour online and to talk to either us or some other responsible adult if they come across or are sent the wrong sort of things.
Luckily there is help on hand in the form of advice:
Childnet fact sheets on safety
Mobile operators advice: the operators seem to differ wildly in their approach to this issue.
Vodafone have advice on safety online but only when you sign up to their Vodafone 360 (so basically rubbish)
Three have an advice page
Orange have an excellent help page on Orange safeguard
Microsoft online safety advice - includes a page which breaks down child safety a bit more. Is for the PC but could equally apply to their mobile internet devices
02 - very impressed with their easy to find section about Young People's services on their home page which links to an excellent page of child protection advice. Well done 02.
Other resources
Child Explotation and Online Protection: to help protect against child sexual abuse online
As a mobile phone designer, I had to spend some time thinking about the balance of safety for children vs. respecting their privacy/not treating children like idiots.
OK you can put filters in place to protect children but these must enable them to get to the content they are interested in. Social networking and location based services add complications. Other considerations were cost, parental control and how to handle abusive situations.
When you buy a handset and can prove you are 18+ then content is open to you. If you then pass this phone onto your child, IT'S UP TO YOU to ask for the 18+ content to be turned off. It's also up to you to ensure that wifi, bluetooth and location based services are controlled as these are normally done from within the handset and not by the operator.
So not only do you have to refresh your Maths, English and Science skills but you have to be an IT whizz. Ultimately though our kids need to learn how to steer themselves safely too - learn what is appropriate content and behaviour online and to talk to either us or some other responsible adult if they come across or are sent the wrong sort of things.
Luckily there is help on hand in the form of advice:
Childnet fact sheets on safety
Mobile operators advice: the operators seem to differ wildly in their approach to this issue.
Vodafone have advice on safety online but only when you sign up to their Vodafone 360 (so basically rubbish)
Three have an advice page
Orange have an excellent help page on Orange safeguard
Microsoft online safety advice - includes a page which breaks down child safety a bit more. Is for the PC but could equally apply to their mobile internet devices
02 - very impressed with their easy to find section about Young People's services on their home page which links to an excellent page of child protection advice. Well done 02.
Other resources
Child Explotation and Online Protection: to help protect against child sexual abuse online
Friday, 1 October 2010
Eczema
This morning I noticed blood on our sheets. Not alas, a result of some kinky conjugal games but my husband scratching in his sleep. He has eczema as does our 3 year old. In some ways, they are very lucky because it's contact eczema rather than food allergy eczema. Even so, we have to be careful with our washing powder, the bath products we use, any perfumed products. We have lots of emollient and steroids on hand to keep things under control.
After every bath, and every day before nursery, I lather our tot in Diprobase. And when she comes back from nursery or playing in the park, I have to inspect her hands for any traces of sand or dirt and hope that she hasn't washed too many times as wet hands can quickly become itchy hands. I have to check her inner elbows and behind her knees. All these areas are really prone to eczema and left unchecked, she would end up with raw, bloody, skin prone to infections. She would be up most of the night which would also mean less sleep for all of us, something that can make the condition worse.
We are very lucky in that her nursery seems aware of food allergies and eczema. There are info posters up of another tot who is not able to eat certain foods. A good reminder. And for my tot, they have quickly understood that we prefer her to wear her own spare clothes rather than the nursery ones.
A friend is not so lucky and has a tot that can break out in bad eczema if she goes near the wrong food or touches the wrong thing. And it seems her nursery needs educating. If yours is the same, then you may find the School packs on the Eczema org site useful.
I would be interested in hearing of any other useful tips for dealing with eczema.
After every bath, and every day before nursery, I lather our tot in Diprobase. And when she comes back from nursery or playing in the park, I have to inspect her hands for any traces of sand or dirt and hope that she hasn't washed too many times as wet hands can quickly become itchy hands. I have to check her inner elbows and behind her knees. All these areas are really prone to eczema and left unchecked, she would end up with raw, bloody, skin prone to infections. She would be up most of the night which would also mean less sleep for all of us, something that can make the condition worse.
We are very lucky in that her nursery seems aware of food allergies and eczema. There are info posters up of another tot who is not able to eat certain foods. A good reminder. And for my tot, they have quickly understood that we prefer her to wear her own spare clothes rather than the nursery ones.
A friend is not so lucky and has a tot that can break out in bad eczema if she goes near the wrong food or touches the wrong thing. And it seems her nursery needs educating. If yours is the same, then you may find the School packs on the Eczema org site useful.
I would be interested in hearing of any other useful tips for dealing with eczema.
Saturday, 18 September 2010
No compare
Please don’t compare my child to yours
Don’t turn us into milestone whores
Don’t tell me what mine should doWhen she should sleep, eat and poo.
It’s great to hear how proud you are
Of your own special little star
But children grow in their own way
Getting stronger every single day
Each child is so wonderfully unique
Yet they all learn to eat, pee and to speak
Safe and secure in the love we give
They all will work out how best to live
So stop your incessant drone
And just leave us the fuck alone
P.S. I'm not a poet, and yes, I know it.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Primary Times South East
You know there is a magazine out there that lists all the things that go on around your area??? The kind of thing that all parents in the know about whilst the rest of us would just resort to Time Out etc.
Well that describes the Primary Times for me. At the Thames Barrier cafe, we picked up the East London version and it was full of things to do. I have no idea where to get the SE London version but luckily there is a website and it has a filter for SE London.
Here it is:
Primary Times South East London
Parents in the know will just go "OH we know ALLLL about that"
Clueless like me will go "OOOOOOOh that's useful"
Enjoy :)
Well that describes the Primary Times for me. At the Thames Barrier cafe, we picked up the East London version and it was full of things to do. I have no idea where to get the SE London version but luckily there is a website and it has a filter for SE London.
Here it is:
Primary Times South East London
Parents in the know will just go "OH we know ALLLL about that"
Clueless like me will go "OOOOOOOh that's useful"
Enjoy :)
Holiday juggling
I've been thinking about returning to work part-time but one thing that worries me enormously is holidays. One of the big advantages of being a SAHM is that I don't have to worry about the holidays as any non-tot commitments are not regular and I can do them anytime. Of course, looking after tot full time often involves lots of screaming as I am cooped up...thank god for good weather and the lovely parks close by.
So what do you do if you are a working parent? Do you take turns having holidays off to look after the kids. How hard that must be especially as it means you can't take holidays as a family.
Do you rely on your extended families? That's fine but in London extended families can be too far away (or even non-existent).
Do you rely on friends?
Holiday clubs? Are they any good?
I'd love to hear from other parents about how they cope (or don't) and what hours it would be best to return to work. By that I mean, is it better to work in the mornings as there is cover for mornings, or should I aim for later in the day?
So what do you do if you are a working parent? Do you take turns having holidays off to look after the kids. How hard that must be especially as it means you can't take holidays as a family.
Do you rely on your extended families? That's fine but in London extended families can be too far away (or even non-existent).
Do you rely on friends?
Holiday clubs? Are they any good?
I'd love to hear from other parents about how they cope (or don't) and what hours it would be best to return to work. By that I mean, is it better to work in the mornings as there is cover for mornings, or should I aim for later in the day?
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Happy Father's Day
Seeing my husband with our tot has made me realise what a great dad he is. I wish mine was half the man though in many ways mine is awesome.
I never met hubby's Dad as he passed away before we were dating however, seeing the man he produced, I would have loved to have met him.
Happy Father's Day to Mr Plummy Mummy and his Dad and to my Dad and to awesome Dads everywhere.
I never met hubby's Dad as he passed away before we were dating however, seeing the man he produced, I would have loved to have met him.
Happy Father's Day to Mr Plummy Mummy and his Dad and to my Dad and to awesome Dads everywhere.
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Fun Factory - for dads/males carers and their kids
Ooooh a fun factory and it's something specifically for dads/male carers and their kids who are aged 0-8 years.
A wee late notice for tonight but it happens on the 1st Thursday of each month during term times, 6-8pm.
The venue: Charlton School, Charlton Park Road, London, SE7 8HX
Tonight's session was meant to include a puppet maker but unfortunately, that has been cancelled, however there will be story telling by the Early Year's Librarian and those attending will receive a bookstart start pack.
For more information contact Marc James, Tel: 020 8921 2768, email: marc.james@greenwich.gov.uk
A wee late notice for tonight but it happens on the 1st Thursday of each month during term times, 6-8pm.
The venue: Charlton School, Charlton Park Road, London, SE7 8HX
Tonight's session was meant to include a puppet maker but unfortunately, that has been cancelled, however there will be story telling by the Early Year's Librarian and those attending will receive a bookstart start pack.
For more information contact Marc James, Tel: 020 8921 2768, email: marc.james@greenwich.gov.uk
Friday, 28 May 2010
Are you a Mumzilla?
Just read an article on the beeb Is Mumzilla Competing at the School Gates.
I haven't got to the school gates yet but have certainly come across the competitiveness at toddler groups and when groups of mothers come together. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised as a person quoted in the article saying the phenomenon is worse in SE England.
So are you a mumzilla or dadzilla?
P.s. to my local mum friends...I don't mean YOU, honest I don't xxx
I haven't got to the school gates yet but have certainly come across the competitiveness at toddler groups and when groups of mothers come together. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised as a person quoted in the article saying the phenomenon is worse in SE England.
So are you a mumzilla or dadzilla?
P.s. to my local mum friends...I don't mean YOU, honest I don't xxx
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Flexible childcare
Went out for drinks with a bunch of mums last night. Woke up this morning thankful for the blackout blinds Mr Plummy Mummy put in last week!
One of the things that came up in conversation was the need for flexible childcare. This would be for parents who want to work but don't have set hours each week so cannot take advantage of nurseries / childminders. For example, people who like to freelance.
So does anyone out there know of any flexible childcare available around here? Ideally somewhere you could book a day in advance or even on the morning of the day.
Even better would be a place that had said flexibility but enabled the parents to stay on-site to work (so wifi would be necessary) or to network with other parents, do courses, meet traders who work flexibly (such as the Phoenix bods) or just have a break from the kids safe in the knowledge that they were being looked after.
One of the things that came up in conversation was the need for flexible childcare. This would be for parents who want to work but don't have set hours each week so cannot take advantage of nurseries / childminders. For example, people who like to freelance.
So does anyone out there know of any flexible childcare available around here? Ideally somewhere you could book a day in advance or even on the morning of the day.
Even better would be a place that had said flexibility but enabled the parents to stay on-site to work (so wifi would be necessary) or to network with other parents, do courses, meet traders who work flexibly (such as the Phoenix bods) or just have a break from the kids safe in the knowledge that they were being looked after.
Friday, 16 April 2010
Mum - just One More Day
15 years ago today, my mum passed away. It's not normally a date I pay much attention to as I prefer to celebrate her birthday, her life and not her death. I even had to ask my little bro the exact date and got a shock it's just one day after the wedding anniversary. No one mentioned it at our wedding.
15 years. Wow. 15 years.
All month I've been composing this post in my head. Yet as I sit here to write, I wonder how many of you would want to hear of this seemingly ordinary lady. Ordinary to everyone but us, her family and to her friends. Weirdly, I lived with her for 28 years, but I cannot remember the day to day. It's the occasional memories that stick. And also, of course, every moment of this day 15 years ago. The hospital, the sounds, my brothers' reactions, the nurses in the ICU, the hug I got from dad (the first one I ever remember getting from him, the shock was too much to bear almost), seeing her laid out in the hospital mortuary and not wanting to leave her there. Then there was the overbearing 14 days of relatives coming to our house to mourn - a part of my religion/tradition that I have always detested. The shock of how easily and freely my tears flowed on the day of her cremation...like a tap.
I cannot cook without thinking of her. I cannot make rotlis without wishing I'd paid more attention to her excellent skills and oh my god, the sweets, pickles, and exotic chevdos and other mixes she made.
Without facebook, twitter, camera-phones and so on to record her every moment we are left to stare at the few old fashioned printed photos of her. She is young in them. I'm getting older in comparison. But in them, she is static unlike in real life. We have one small recording of her voice in the background at my brother's wedding...it's the most precious part of the whole video for me.
The memories I have are different to my brothers even when talking about the same events. That aspect has always fascinated me of memory recall.
She never met any of her grandchildren who were all born in the last 15 years. Two of them, including my tot are named in her honour. I sometimes see flashes of mum's face in tot. I often see them in the mirror especially when I am cross as she had a hell of a temper. I used to feel the brunt of that temper and developed a colossal one myself. For most of our life together, we didn't get on. Too alike I suppose. But there were days where we could sit in eachother's company and all would be right with the world. She had beautiful brown eyes, like pools of chocolate that I loved to stare into. She must have thought I was a bit potty but it would soothe me.
She would have loved the kids, spoilt them rotten and taught them all the mother tongue. With her passing, the ties to our language started to wither away to almost nothing now but a painful attempt to pass unfamiliar, uncomfortable guttural sounds when I need to speak to a relative.
Since having tot, I've thought more about how she coped remarkably and courageously with moving from one continent to another twice (India to Kenya, then to the UK). How she had 3 of us in quick succession and didn't break down (not sure I'd do the same). Many other things. We aren't in touch with her family or old Indian friends so a whole segment of her life is not known to me.
15 years. Cannot believe it. Mitch Albom got it right - One More Day is all I would need to say sorry, to say thanks, to question her relentlessly about everything and to hug her like there was no tomorrow. Every day for the 15 years, and for the rest of my life, I'll be doing those things in my head.
15 years. Wow. 15 years.
All month I've been composing this post in my head. Yet as I sit here to write, I wonder how many of you would want to hear of this seemingly ordinary lady. Ordinary to everyone but us, her family and to her friends. Weirdly, I lived with her for 28 years, but I cannot remember the day to day. It's the occasional memories that stick. And also, of course, every moment of this day 15 years ago. The hospital, the sounds, my brothers' reactions, the nurses in the ICU, the hug I got from dad (the first one I ever remember getting from him, the shock was too much to bear almost), seeing her laid out in the hospital mortuary and not wanting to leave her there. Then there was the overbearing 14 days of relatives coming to our house to mourn - a part of my religion/tradition that I have always detested. The shock of how easily and freely my tears flowed on the day of her cremation...like a tap.
I cannot cook without thinking of her. I cannot make rotlis without wishing I'd paid more attention to her excellent skills and oh my god, the sweets, pickles, and exotic chevdos and other mixes she made.
Without facebook, twitter, camera-phones and so on to record her every moment we are left to stare at the few old fashioned printed photos of her. She is young in them. I'm getting older in comparison. But in them, she is static unlike in real life. We have one small recording of her voice in the background at my brother's wedding...it's the most precious part of the whole video for me.
The memories I have are different to my brothers even when talking about the same events. That aspect has always fascinated me of memory recall.
She never met any of her grandchildren who were all born in the last 15 years. Two of them, including my tot are named in her honour. I sometimes see flashes of mum's face in tot. I often see them in the mirror especially when I am cross as she had a hell of a temper. I used to feel the brunt of that temper and developed a colossal one myself. For most of our life together, we didn't get on. Too alike I suppose. But there were days where we could sit in eachother's company and all would be right with the world. She had beautiful brown eyes, like pools of chocolate that I loved to stare into. She must have thought I was a bit potty but it would soothe me.
She would have loved the kids, spoilt them rotten and taught them all the mother tongue. With her passing, the ties to our language started to wither away to almost nothing now but a painful attempt to pass unfamiliar, uncomfortable guttural sounds when I need to speak to a relative.
Since having tot, I've thought more about how she coped remarkably and courageously with moving from one continent to another twice (India to Kenya, then to the UK). How she had 3 of us in quick succession and didn't break down (not sure I'd do the same). Many other things. We aren't in touch with her family or old Indian friends so a whole segment of her life is not known to me.
15 years. Cannot believe it. Mitch Albom got it right - One More Day is all I would need to say sorry, to say thanks, to question her relentlessly about everything and to hug her like there was no tomorrow. Every day for the 15 years, and for the rest of my life, I'll be doing those things in my head.
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