Tuesday, 30 March 2010


Dates are a funny old thing. I mean the time type, not the edible ones. I am not very good with dates so it was silly of me to take History A Level but I was more interested in the stories than minor details of day, month or century.
I remember some birthdays, and my wedding anniversary as a friend kindly gave me a cross-stitch reminder of it. I don't remember the date my mum died - it's some time in April and it's been 15 years. Her birthday is infinitely more important to me as Dorian Gray like, she stays young while I am aging more and more each day in the outside world.
One date that I have remembered for the last 9 months is my EDD - estimated due date which is today. But no cheers please as I lost that baby at 7 weeks or so. In the wee hours of this morning when I couldn't sleep I looked at my phone and saw the date, and burst into tears. Sad for the loss of something I never really had. Sad for my tot that she doesn't have a sibling. Sad.
Of course, I could say "Here's one I made earlier" as I am very proud of my tot and realise how lucky we are to even have her. But as my job description is Stay at Home Mother, I feel that I've failed somewhat in my project plan to produce another. In a sense, I'm the "One hit wonder".
Tomorrow is another day and that ominous date will be behind me. In the meantime, thank you dear readers, you are my virtual strangers that, for today, have given me a shoulder to cry on. Cheers for that.


Emma said...

Very sad. As someone struggling to conceive I can't imagine the pain of managing it and then losing your baby.

Lots of cuddles from Tot and several large bowls of ice cream in order, I'd say.


Plummy Mummy said...

Thanks Emma
Writing the post was cathartic and in many ways made me realise how very lucky I am.
I consoled myself with rather a lot of mung dhal.

Emma said...

We're having your mung dahl for tea tomorrow :)